


On Trial With His Own

by DumpsterBeagle



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Dead TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Depressed TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Exiled TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Gen, Hurt No Comfort, I'm Sorry, JUST, Lonely TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Sad Ending, Sad Toby Smith | Tubbo, Sad TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Sad sad sad, Scared TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Suicide, Traumatized Tommyinnit (Video Blogging RPF), cw- eating, cw- food, cw- manipulation, cw- overthinking, cw- self harm, cw- suicidal thoughts, cw- suicide, cw- throwing up, dont read, god help me, huge tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 11:20:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29716389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DumpsterBeagle/pseuds/DumpsterBeagle
Summary: "You didn't do anything wrong, I just have to go. We had fun today already, didn't we?"Tommy nods solemnly."Okay, then we're done here. See you tomorrow."(He won't. He won't see Tommy tomorrow. Tommy doesn't know what's going to happen that night, but Tommy won't be there tomorrow.)
Relationships: Clay | Dream & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit
Comments: 5
Kudos: 206
Collections: Completed stories I've read





	On Trial With His Own

**Author's Note:**

> look, I'm not over exile, so screw you, I'm gonna write more exile stuff.
> 
> cw- food, eating, throwing up, suicide, self harm, suicidal thoughts, overthinking, manipulation, blood
> 
> pretty much, don't read this if you get triggered easily by any of these things. stay safe :]

Tommy is alone.

He hasn't eaten anything more than an apple in the past three days. Well, at least he thinks it's only been three days. Since exile started he can't seem to keep track of time for the life of him. He probably hasn't slept in a few days too. He wouldn't be surprised if he had dark circles under his eyes. Tommy chuckles, lifelessly, and humorlessly.

Tommy's clothes are ripped, his face is bruised and bloody, he has no materials, and, worst of all, he has no home.

(He has no friends. He has no family. There's no one. Help. Help. _Help._ )

He's not going to last much longer, he doesn't think.

(Someone help him, he needs help, he needs help, get him help, anyone, get him out.)

Tommy's numb. He barely feels anything. He'll do anything to feel again.

"Tommy."

Tommy slowly turns around to the voice. "Oh, Dream! When did you get here?" Tommy asks, polightly. Dream taught him to be polite. Before exile he was terribly rude, and he wishes that people would come by so he could apologize.

(He wants someone to come by to visit him. He misses people. He wishes they cared about them. Any of them.)

Honestly, exile was the best thing to happen to him. It was the best thing to happen to everyone!

(Exile is terrible, he's lonely, he's hungry, he's broken.)

"Just a minute ago," Dream responds, starting to dig a hole into the dirt ground.

"Oh! That's nice. I'm so glad that you came to visit!" Tommy smiles.

Dream nods. "I do everyday, Tommy."

"Haha, I wouldn't know. The days blur together, yunno!" Tommy jokes.

"Hm," Dream replies. "Stuff in the hole," Dream finishes the hole.

"I know," Tommy frowns, pouring his stuff into the hole. He had barely anything anymore. He didn't work to get anything. He knew it would be taken away, so what would be the point? He just had... an old fishing rod, a pair of shears, and a stone pickaxe. He doesn't care if he loses those.

"Is that it?" Dream questions.

"Yeah," Tommy answers.

"Huh."

Dream blows up the items, and Tommy flinches at the sound. Explosions had always been a terrible memory for him. But, it didn't matter, if Dream needed to blow up his stuff, so be it. Dream _is_ his best friend, after all.

Dream sighs, covering the hole, and brushing off his hands. "Okay, that's it for today, Tommy. I have some business to attend to." Dream starts walking back towards the portal and Tommy's face falls.

"Wait, that's it? Did I do something wrong? Why are you leaving so early?"

"Stop being so clingy, Tommy," Dream responds, irritated.

( _"You're so clingy, Tubbo!"_

 _"I'm not clingy!"_ )

"You didn't do anything wrong, I just have to go. We had fun today already, didn't we?"

Tommy nods solemnly.

"Okay, then we're done here. See you tomorrow."

(He won't. He won't see Tommy tomorrow. Tommy doesn't know what's going to happen that night, but Tommy won't be there tomorrow.)

"Okay. Bye Dream." Tommy hangs his head, sitting on the dirty ground.

Tommy doesn't believe Dream. Dream must be mad at him if he left already. It had only been five minutes. Tommy must have done something wrong.

"Bad Tommy, bad Tommy, bad Tommy," Tommy mutters, hitting his arm. He was causing more bruises, but that didn't matter anymore.

Tommy wants to cry. He can't. The tears won't come.

Tommy starts scratching at his wrists, aiming to draw blood. He can't. He starts anxiously biting his cuticles and nails, until it hurts. Well, nothing really hurts anymore.

 _What did I do wrong? Why did Dream leave?_ Tommy thinks to himself. _Maybe you_ were _just being clingy, and maybe that's why he left._

Tommy's fingers start to drip blood. Tommy absentmindedly looks up at the sky, and he realizes that it's night. How long had he been sitting there? It had to have been hours. Maybe it was days. It doesn't matter, anyways.

Tommy's stomach growls, and he slowly stands up, his brain blurring out everything around him. He can barely hear anything, either. It feels like water is completely clogging up his ears, but there's no water.

Tommy walks over to a nearby tree, resolving to try to eat something. He picks an apple, and stares at it for a minute, before, cautiously taking a bite into it. It tastes like dirt. He almost spits it out, but before he can, he realizes he's swallowed it.

He takes another bite.

It's so infuriatingly disgusting. He doesn't want to eat any more. This might actually ruin his appetite forever.

He takes another bite.

Before he knows it, he's stomached the entire apple.

His stomach starts to feel terrible, and he leans against the tree he got the apple from, bending down and throwing up. The bile comes up through his throat, and it tastes even worse than the apple. The warm liquid makes him want to vomit. Oh.

Tommy retches and retches until there's nothing left in his stomach, and he's hungry again. So much for eating.

Tommy moves steadily across Logsted, back over to Tnret. He's not going to be able to sleep. He knows he won't. So, he's just going to grab Chirp from his ender chest, and play it. Who cares about personal possessions anymore, anyways?

(He does. If he ever lost Chirp, that would most certainly kill him. It's the only thing that reminds him of ~~home~~.)

Tommy slips it into the jukebox, letting the tune, (somewhat), calm him down. The music is muffled. Of course it is.

Tommy closes his eyes.

Tommy thinks that this might be it.

He thinks that it's over.

He knows that it is.

(He's right.)

Tommy walks over to his ender chest, opening it once more, this time to grab his compass.

Tommy would end it with his prized possession in his hands.

Tommy makes the decision to leave Chirp in the jukebox. As it ends, wouldn't it be nice to have some tunes?

(Yeah, tunes are nice.)

Tommy has a few stacks of dirt. He had stopped disposing of items he didn't need a while ago. He starts towering. And he doesn't stop. He doesn't goddamn stop until he reaches the block limit and he can't build anymore.

He can't hear Chirp, he can barely see the ground. His vision is going blurry, and his head hurts. He sits down on the dirt, letting his feet dangle over the edge.

He's close. He's so close. One little trip and he's gone.

(He's close. He's so close. One little trip and he's gone.)

Tommy feels himself start to drift. Not to sleep, but he feels as if he's starting to drift away from his consciousness, from his life.

Now or never.

(Now or never.)

End it, Tommy.

(End it, Tommy.)

Tommy stands back up, glancing once more at his compass before leaning backwards until he falls, his head tilting back.

It isn't scary. He can't really hear anything.

(It's scary, he's scared, it's scary, help him, it's scary-)

He's starting to see clearer, though.

It just feels like he's flying.

Maybe he is.

(He's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's nOT, HE'S NOT, HE'S NOT, HE'S-)

Tommy hits the ground with a small yelp. He passes out shortly after that.

Is this death?

\---

It's three in the morning.

Tubbo's restless.

He misses Tommy.

Maybe that's why he's waiting outside the portal to Logsted.

Tubbo takes a deep breath, stepping through the portal. The first thing he sees is an ominously tall tower.

"Wh... What the hell is this?" Tubbo mutters to himself.

Then, a body falls from the top.

Tommy's body.

Tubbo freezes.

He can't fucking move.

Tommy hits the ground with a yelp, akin to one of an injured puppy.

His body is broken, bruised, god, he looks terrible. There's blood everywhere.

This can't be happening.

This is a dream. This is a dream. This is a dream. This is a dream.

This isn't a dream. It's not a dream.

"Surely not," Tubbo says into the dark night sky.

_TommyInnit fell from a high place_

Tubbo lets out a bloodcurdling scream, falling to the floor. He calls Tommy's name, but he's gone.

Tommy's gone.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry uh this is awkward
> 
> anyways, I wanted to pop in here and give an explanation, so continue reading if you would like an explanation of some of the intricacies of this piece.
> 
> Okay, first of all, the apple he ate was actually perfectly good, but he had convinced himself that it would be terrible. Now onto the worse part. The sentences in parentheses were Tommy's inner thoughts. At first they were disagreeing with Tommy's surface thoughts, revealing what Tommy truly thought. At some point they started agreeing, right around when Tommy made the decision that he would kill himself, because in the deepest parts of himself he wanted to kill himself. The last messages from his inner thoughts, though, were disagreeing with his surface thoughts, showing that he was having second thoughts about killing himself and that he didn't actually want to die.
> 
> (tumblr tumblr tumBLR TUMBLR!! @/beaglesfoundindumpsters )


End file.
